Communicating Differently

I think everyone communicates differently depending on whom they are with at the time. As the text states, “Communication skills are behavioral routines based on social understandings” (O'H air & Wiemann, 2012, p. 19). It would only be appropriate to communicate differently with your own family than you would with colleagues.

This week I have understood the meaning and impact behind the Platinum Rule "Do to others as they themselves would like to be treated" (Beebe, Beebe, & Redmond, 2011, p. 114). I have always lived by the ‘Golden Rule’, which is similar. This weeks reading provided me insight that even treating another, as I would wish may not be appropriate. We must also take into consideration the differences in diversity. Culturally it may not be proper to treat others’ as we would want to be.

I have also gained an understanding cultural myopia. Cultural myopia is, "Individuals who fail to consider other cultural perspectives” (O'H air & Wiemann, 2012, p. 45). This is something that is important when looking at communicating with others. I know that there are instances when I have cultural myopia and feel that my style of potty training or the best time to introduce structured writing is the write way. I also need to remember that families and colleagues come to a conversation with their own cultural myopia about these same topics. To communicate we must be willing to listen to each other, compromise, and probably most important understand. I need to remember that there is not just one path to the finish line but rather many and just because someone takes another path does not mean it is wrong.

I think the biggest thing I have learned thus far is to remember to my body language as I am in conversation with different groups of people. I tend to be a more relaxed and casual person and I realize that this may be offensive to some cultures in a professional setting. I also have to remember that some body language can be offensive to other, for example the thumbs up sign. I think that is why it is best to know the people you are communicating with before using casual body language.

Reference:

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Non-Verbal Communication and TV

This week I watch a show called Parenthood. While watching the show with the sound off I felt so lost. At first I thought I was not going to be able to understand what was going on. In relatively short order I was able to start my decoding of the non-verbal communication that was taking place. I had a different perspective and story for all the characters. In a way that was kind of a fun activity. I could reinvent their life to fit their non-verbal communication. At times I was in stitches because of the storyline I came up with.

Personally I am hard of hearing and have a difficult time hearing people in certain circumstances or people with certain vocal tones. I need to pay close attention to their body language to help decipher what is being said. After the doozy of a story I came up with for the characters in the TV show I am left wondering how many times I have miss read other who are trying to communicate with me. This activity gave me a new appreciation and understanding for how important non-verbal communication can be, along with the realization that it can mean what we do not want it to. 

Competent Communication

Dana has been a long time friend of mine. We met when she volunteered to help with a not for profit I was working with at that time. Dana has always impressed me with her communication skills. She is relaxed, confident, and very well spoken. She has this inner strength that seems to come through in any situation that she needs to be herd or understood. It is hard to put into words how articulate and confident she is in the material she communicates. Dana is a middle school teacher and I have seen her communication skills in action during conferences, parent meetings, taking to co-workers. She is also on the board of her HOA (home owners association), the local little league board, and an event coordinator for Smile At Miracles. For me Dana is the definition of competent communication in a variety of contexts.

            I am constantly wishing I possessed her communication skills and with that the confidence. Her confidence is something to marvel over. She is never scared to try or to make a mistake as she see that as a time to learn. I, on the other hand, am terrified to look unintelligent or to fall on my face. I know that as time has passed I have learned form her and watched her body language. The simple changes I have made have helped me to improve my communication over all. I am still just lacking in the confidence. There is always something to work on and improve in ones self. I guess this is one of mine.