Adjourning

When thinking back on how different groups I have been involved with have gone through the adjourning stage they all seem to have one aspect in common and that is the final outcome. No matter what the goal has been, the group always parts when that goal has been reached. How I feel about that parting is varies though. When a group works well together, is productive, and performs at a high efficient level it is hard to part ways. I am always left wishing we had more goals to accomplish because of the way the group works together. When there are combative personalities, difficult individuals, and wasted time I can hardly wait for the group to be adjourned.

One of the hardest groups to leave was an early childhood science fair group. We planned a one-day event at a local community college. We used five classrooms and each classroom was a “destination”. For example one room was ‘down on the farm’. This room was decorated to look like a farm and children 3-3^rd grade would visit stations in the room to make butter, plant seeds, and other experiences. The event was a huge success. We had a total or 300 children participate in the event throughout the day. The only let down was the end. When the event was over we helped clean and each when our separate ways with a goodbye. I wish we would have planned a dinner to celebrate our success or closed the group in another way.

In the future I am going to have to pay closer attention to the adjourning process of a group. This way each member of the group will feel like there was an end instead of it feeling unfinished. I am not sure what this is going to look like for my group of peers in my Masters program but I do hope we can adjourn in a way that makes us all feel celebrated and successful. 

Current Conflict

I have been in the middle of a conflict with a parent for 3 weeks now. Her child has special needs and has no way of communicating to us. Her use of sign language is limited and sporadic. I would like to attach a ring of flash cards to her belt loop that she can use to show us what she wants, needs, or would like to share. The cards are basics like food, colors, bathroom, books, and that sort of thing. Her mom on the other hand does not want the cards put on her she would like us to “make her talk or give her nothing.” I keep trying to explain to her mom that she cannot form the words and she is frustrated because she cannot communicate. That is the main reason for most of her temper tantrums. This conflict has caused me to lose sleep and I would really like to find a solution.

This week I have tried to apply some of the strategies to this conflict but have seemed to be to no avail. The three R’s, (respect, responsive, and reciprocal interactions) have not fully been a good fit. I do respect the mom in most choices but feel so strongly that her daughter has a way to communicate that it is hard to respect her decision in this matter. While reading the text I came to the conclusion that this maybe an unproductive conflict and I need to find a way to make it productive so that mom and I can have a healthy debate about this matter. I plan to assess my attitude toward the conflict and really look into the climate. I want to make sure I am not coming to the table with a defensive tone.

If anyone has some good suggestion or insight I would love to hear them.

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin's.

Evaluating My Communication Skills

This week has been eye opening for me. I feel like I have learned a lot about myself as a communicator and how others’ view me as a communicator. I personally have never felt 100% confident in my communication skills. I know that is some instances my pulse raises and I find it difficult to articulately say what I would like. However this is not how others’ view my communication skills. I had a family member and a colleague both use the three evaluations provided this week and I was shocked that they both came back with scores that speak very highly of my communication. This also has shown me that even when I am nervous I am able to stay calm in the eyes of others’ and communicate intelligently.

The one result of the evaluations that was most surprising was the fact that I tend to be overly empathetic and this in return causes me to be overly trusting of others (Rubin, Rubin, Graham, Perse, & Seibold, 2009). My over trust in others has been a problem for me in the past both personally and professionally. So while this was surprising it was more so that it was a case of communication deficiencies and not being gullible. I really need to remember the balance of being professional and not becoming so emotionally evolved in families lives. Trying to maintain this balance will be vital to my communication skills and looking like the professional I am in the eyes of families and colleagues.

I am excited about the goals I have set for myself and know that they will help to make me a wonderful communicator. I am optimistic for the future and my growth within the art of communication.

Reference:

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009).

Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. "Listening Styles Profile-16" 
Copyright 2009 Taylor & Francis Group LLC Books. Used with permission from Taylor & Francis via the Copyright Clearance Center.